Bringing a Sword to a Gun Fight
You know, I hate the expression about bringing a knife to a gun fight. Sure, in a literal sense, you’re probably wildly under-prepared – unless you’re a ninja at throwing knives or you’re in close combat grappling with someone. That’s when a knife would really be more useful.
And I get what it means to figuratively bring a knife to a gun fight. You’re not prepared. Or, maybe you’re interrupting the rapid-fire style of the verbal assault to deliver some sharp and pointed truths.
Either way, I’d rather bring a sword to a gun fight.
Okay, let’s get the obvious out of the way. I’m fully aware that someone with a gun would still have what appears to be the clear advantage. I mean, yes, they can probably put a lot of bullets in me in the time it takes me to stab them once.
I don’t care. Swords are still awesome.
The way I see it, there’s really no finesse to having a gun fight with someone in a dark alley or at high noon in the middle of an Old West town. *waves to tumbleweed* Unless you’re a horrible shot – and if you are, why do you have gun again? – it’s a matter of moving your finger. Kind of boring, when you think about it.
But a sword…
Why swords straight up rock
Yes, you can pull a trigger faster than I can run down the alley at you. But how often do you see people in real life wielding a sword? Better yet, how often do you have someone running after you with a sword?
I think the person with the sword in their hand has the clear advantage. I mean, they’re obviously insane – or, at least, that’s how their opponent is going to view them. Insane people don’t care if they get shot. They keep running at you.
And their sword will still be functional long after you run out of bullets.
Now, obviously, if the person you’re going up against is a crack shot or one of those elite snipers, you’re going to die whether you have a sword or a gun in your hand. But against the average marksman with a gun…? Crazy swashbuckler might have a good chance here.
If you factor in all the people who don’t know how to do anything beyond holding their gun and maybe pointing it at someone, the sword has a better chance. I mean, even if you’re just blindly lashing out with the sword, you’ll still eventually hit something if you get close enough. Yet you hear about people unloading their whole gun at someone and hitting nothing but air all the time.
Even better, the whole world will get joy from the gun-sword encounter. I can tune out news reports about gun violence in my city because, let’s face it, this is Texas and even my cat is packin’. Now, I hear about someone doing battle in the streets of Dallas with a sword, someone who isn’t prancing around on rooftops pretending to be a superhero? I’m all over that news story. I might be so jazzed by that news story that I don’t turn the channel when they start talking about how my shower is trying to kill me.
And we all know it is.
If I ever have the opportunity to be in an illegal gun fight on the street, I plan to bring a sword. My sheer awesomeness can be my shield.
© 2013, Sydney Katt. All rights reserved.